So, I've tried bouncing this military thing off a few friends, and guess what? Some people can turn on you so quickly. Don't really know what the deal is with that. You would think that, even if they were unhappy with the idea, they would try to talk to me about it. But no. Just yelling and bitching.
Its like they think this is an easy thing for me to tell them. But guess what? Its not. I know that they have differing opinions. That's what makes this so hard. Its not just a passing thought. Damn it people!
I'm very serious about this. I'm looking into it and gathering information from every angle. People that love being in the military, people that hate it. How its effected their families and their friends. Why they joined. What they like about, what they hate. And you know, the more information I get, and the more I talk about it, the more I feel that this is the right thing for me to do.
I just wish my "friends" could see that I'm doing this for my reasons.
6.26.2009
6.25.2009
Down the rabbit hole...
So, here's the thing.... I'm pretty sure I'm losing my mind. Maybe I'm just at a high stress point in my life, I don't know.
Anyway. I'm twenty. Almost twenty-one. I have no set plans for my future. I used to think that was okay. You know, being young, letting things just kind of happen and fall into place. Not really caring about the what I do and blah, blah, blah. But, guess what? That's not okay anymore. I woke up one day and was so unbelievably depressed. Like, what the fuck, man? What have I being doing these THREE YEARS since high school? Nothing. That's what.
So, I was talking to some people a few weeks ago, and you know what we decided that I should do? You'll never believe it. Backpack to California, or New Mexico, or Arizona or some shit, and look for an old 1960s style commune. Yeah. Right. There is a great fucking idea. Every have those moments when you just sit back and think, after sitting back and thinking, and you say to yourself, "Man, I smoke far too much pot." I had one of those moments.
Some time went on, and, I remembered that I used to be really interested in the military. I never really thought about what I wanted to do or which branch I wanted to be in, so I kind of let the idea slide. But, now that I'm older, and I don't really have much else going on, I started thinking about it again. I have friends in the military. I have friends that have already served. They all seem fine. With the sign-on bonuse I could pay off all of my bills (being a drug addict has a tendency to make some bills pile up, which you don't realize until after you quit). Hell, I'd even have enough for a new vehicle. And I'd get to travel, meet new people, do different things. Not to mention, it would be a great way to get into shape. Its only a few years, and I'll learn a lot and experince some things that will help me in life.
I know what I want out of life. One day I'd like to open a cafe. Maybe work on designing clothes on a larger scale. Baking. Writing. I just want to combine them all. And the way things are going right now, thats not going to happen anytime soon. I need to just focus.
Because of all of these conflicting choices in my life, I haven't really been thinking clearly about day to day things. Hence my chopping all of my hair off after trying for months to grow it out. I don't know, I guess I'm just going to look into some more things, and, I don't know.
Welcome to my blog.
Anyway. I'm twenty. Almost twenty-one. I have no set plans for my future. I used to think that was okay. You know, being young, letting things just kind of happen and fall into place. Not really caring about the what I do and blah, blah, blah. But, guess what? That's not okay anymore. I woke up one day and was so unbelievably depressed. Like, what the fuck, man? What have I being doing these THREE YEARS since high school? Nothing. That's what.
So, I was talking to some people a few weeks ago, and you know what we decided that I should do? You'll never believe it. Backpack to California, or New Mexico, or Arizona or some shit, and look for an old 1960s style commune. Yeah. Right. There is a great fucking idea. Every have those moments when you just sit back and think, after sitting back and thinking, and you say to yourself, "Man, I smoke far too much pot." I had one of those moments.
Some time went on, and, I remembered that I used to be really interested in the military. I never really thought about what I wanted to do or which branch I wanted to be in, so I kind of let the idea slide. But, now that I'm older, and I don't really have much else going on, I started thinking about it again. I have friends in the military. I have friends that have already served. They all seem fine. With the sign-on bonuse I could pay off all of my bills (being a drug addict has a tendency to make some bills pile up, which you don't realize until after you quit). Hell, I'd even have enough for a new vehicle. And I'd get to travel, meet new people, do different things. Not to mention, it would be a great way to get into shape. Its only a few years, and I'll learn a lot and experince some things that will help me in life.
I know what I want out of life. One day I'd like to open a cafe. Maybe work on designing clothes on a larger scale. Baking. Writing. I just want to combine them all. And the way things are going right now, thats not going to happen anytime soon. I need to just focus.
Because of all of these conflicting choices in my life, I haven't really been thinking clearly about day to day things. Hence my chopping all of my hair off after trying for months to grow it out. I don't know, I guess I'm just going to look into some more things, and, I don't know.
Welcome to my blog.
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